October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and at Irwin & Irwin, we want to speak directly to those who feel trapped, unsure, or silenced in their own homes. If that is you, or someone close to you, we want you to know that there are legal protections available. Abuse can take many forms. The law in California recognizes that, and so do we.
Domestic violence is not always physical
In our family law practice, we see many people who delay seeking help because they believe what they are going through is not “bad enough” to involve the court. But domestic violence is not limited to physical harm. California Family Code § 6203 defines abuse to include behaviors that are verbal, emotional, psychological, or controlling. This includes actions that disturb a person’s peace, threaten safety, or isolate someone from support.
Examples may include:
- Threats to harm you, your children, or themselves
- Monitoring your phone, location, or communications
- Controlling your access to money or transportation
- Intimidating, belittling, or manipulating you in front of your children
- Preventing you from contacting family or friends
Any one of these behaviors may be grounds for a restraining order. You do not have to wait for things to escalate.
The court can offer immediate legal protection
If you believe you are in danger, you have the right to request protection through the family court. A temporary restraining order (TRO) can often be granted the same day it is requested. It can require the abusive person to stay away from you, move out of your shared home, and stop all forms of contact.
In many cases, the order can also include emergency custody of your children. These protections are designed to give you the space to make decisions without fear of retaliation. After a short hearing, the court can issue a longer-term Domestic Violence Restraining Order (DVRO), which may last up to five years.
A restraining order may include:
- Personal conduct orders (no harassment, stalking, or threats)
- Stay-away orders (from home, work, school, or child care)
- Residence exclusion (requiring the restrained person to move out)
- Temporary custody and visitation orders
Every situation is different, but the law provides the tools to respond quickly and clearly when safety is at risk.
Custody decisions are handled differently when abuse is involved
When there are children involved, the court will always consider their safety first. Under California Family Code § 3044, if the court finds that one parent has committed domestic violence against the other parent or the children within the last five years, it must presume that awarding custody to that parent would not be in the child’s best interest.
This does not mean the abusive parent is automatically cut off from their children, but it does mean they will have to meet specific legal standards before any custody can be awarded. The court may:
- Restrict or suspend visitation
- Order supervised visitation
- Require the abusive parent to complete counseling or parenting classes
- Issue protective orders that apply to the children as well
We often request emergency custody changes at the same time we file for a restraining order. These steps are designed to stabilize the home quickly and prevent further harm.
Our experience gives you a practical and legal advantage
Cases involving domestic violence require more than legal knowledge. They require careful planning, discretion, and a clear understanding of how abuse affects daily life. At Irwin & Irwin, we have built our family law practice around representing people during the most difficult moments in their lives. We take that responsibility seriously.
Mark Irwin, our managing partner, is a former police officer who handled domestic violence cases firsthand before entering the legal field. That experience allows our team to anticipate how these cases are approached by law enforcement, evaluated by the court, and challenged by the other party. It also helps us advise clients on gathering the right documentation and preparing for hearings with confidence.
We work with clients across Orange, Los Angeles, Riverside, and parts of San Bernardino County. Whether you need a restraining order, emergency custody, or guidance about separation or divorce, our team is prepared to help you take clear, lawful steps toward a safer future.
You do not have to figure this out alone
We know it can be difficult to talk about what is happening at home. But if you are afraid, confused, or feel like you have run out of options, this is the right time to ask for help. Whether you are ready to file or still gathering information, we are here to listen. Our website includes extensive domestic violence resources to help you understand how California law applies to your situation. And when you are ready to speak with an attorney, we will be ready to walk you through your options.
No one deserves to live in fear. Contact Irwin & Irwin to schedule a confidential consultation. We are here when you are ready.