Most parents want what’s best for their children. If you and your divorcing spouse can build on that shared goal, you may be able to keep your custody dispute out of court. This requires negotiating a parenting plan that addresses legal and physical custody and explains how you’ll divide those responsibilities.
Guiding Factors
When creating a parenting plan, consider the same factors a court reviews:
- Meeting the children’s basic needs, including nutrition, medical care, sleep, guidance, protection, comfort, and love
- Each child’s social, emotional, healthcare, and educational needs, including any special needs requiring additional attention
- Providing consistency through a schedule that fosters security and routine
- Giving each parent significant time with the children
- Considering the children’s ages, abilities, personalities, and levels of experience
- The support system available to each parent
- Each parent’s overall parenting abilities
- The strength of the relationship between each parent and each child
- Safeguarding the children’s health, safety, and overall well-being
- Each parent’s willingness to communicate and cooperate with the other
California Family Code Section 3011 directs courts to consider the child’s health, safety, and welfare, any history of abuse, the nature and amount of contact with both parents, and habitual or continual substance misuse. A parent’s sex, gender identity, gender expression, or sexual orientation isn’t a factor in determining the child’s best interests.
Included Terms
A negotiated parenting plan should address practical issues such as:
- Each parent’s physical custody schedule, including overnight visits
- Decisions that require input from both parents
- How birthdays, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day will be handled
- How school schedules, holidays, and vacations will be handled
- How extracurricular activities and travel will be handled
- Childcare arrangements
- Healthcare, including doctor’s visits, medical records, and vaccinations
- The kind of discipline that will be used
- House rules, including chores and curfews
- How religious practices will be addressed
- The children’s screen time, smartphone access, and internet usage
- Transportation concerns, including drop-off locations, authorized drivers, and car-seat requirements
- Expectations for class schedules, homework, and grades
- Rules or stipulations concerning the children meeting a parent’s new partner
These terms require careful consideration. Our child custody attorneys can help you negotiate an arrangement that protects your relationship with your children and addresses their needs.
Orange County Custody Mediation
Contested custody matters in Orange County include Family Court Services mediation before a contested hearing. Mediation gives parents an opportunity to address legal custody, physical custody, and visitation schedules before asking the court to decide unresolved issues. Orange County family law matters are heard at the Lamoreaux Justice Center.
We prepare custody matters for mediation while remaining ready for trial if the parents can’t reach an agreement. That preparation includes identifying the most important terms, organizing relevant information, and determining whether a proposed schedule will work with school, transportation, healthcare, and each parent’s availability.
How Do You Win in a Custody Battle?
A custody battle doesn’t produce a true winner. The focus should remain on your children’s welfare, and keeping them away from their other parent or seriously limiting that relationship is unlikely to benefit them. You must still protect your rights and advocate for a schedule that preserves meaningful time with your children. Several practical steps can strengthen that position.
Put Your Children First
You may already spend each day putting your children first, but the stress and emotional upheaval of divorce can leave you in defense mode. If that happens, pause and consider what arrangement will serve your children. Seeking a primary custodial role while supporting generous visitation with your former spouse may offer a workable path.
Setting priorities can give you flexibility during negotiations. If your primary concern is where the children will live most of the time, you may have more room to accommodate reasonable scheduling requests from your former spouse. Your children’s relationships with each of you should guide these decisions.
Contentious litigation costs more, takes longer, and places additional strain on the entire family. Reframe the idea of winning around a stable, child-focused result and let that goal guide you.
Keep Your Relationship with Your Children Positive
Custody proceedings can become all-consuming, but they shouldn’t overtake your relationship with your children. You’re under considerable stress, and trying to hide that completely may leave your children confused about what they observe.
Strike a balance by reassuring your children that you remain present for them while acknowledging that the family is going through a difficult period. Set aside time when custody concerns are off limits and focus on ordinary activities, whether that means a movie night or another familiar routine. These efforts can soothe your children’s concerns and provide the court with relevant information about your relationship with them.
Work with a Seasoned Child Custody Attorney from the Beginning
Your custody arrangements shape your relationship with your children, so capable legal counsel is important from the outset. Your attorney can evaluate the circumstances, explain your options, and prepare the matter for negotiation or court.
Your attorney’s work includes:
- Compiling relevant evidence and presenting it in an organized manner
- Advocating for fair terms that reflect your commitment to providing the love and care your children need
- Keeping communication open, when possible, between you and your divorcing spouse if direct negotiations remain productive
- Keeping you informed about your rights and the legal process so you can make informed decisions for yourself and your children
Many mothers believe they have an edge in custody proceedings, while many fathers believe they’re at a disadvantage. California courts instead consider the circumstances of each family and each parent’s ability to care for the children. Our Orange County child custody attorneys can present evidence of your dedication, judgment, care, and involvement for the court’s consideration.
Do Your Best to Stop Things from Becoming Contentious
You need legal guidance from the outset, but consciously steering the dispute away from hostility can benefit you, your soon-to-be former spouse, and your children. Once conflict escalates, it can be difficult to bring the situation back under control.
Dirty tricks and ugly infighting won’t protect your position and can backfire. More importantly, open hostility places additional strain on children who are already vulnerable during a difficult transition.
Less hostile negotiations improve the possibility of resolving custody outside court. Even if the dispute goes to trial, your genuine efforts to reduce conflict may be relevant. California courts consider each parent’s commitment to fostering the children’s ongoing relationship with the other parent, so let that principle guide your conduct.
Identify Anything That May Work Against You Ahead of Time
Your divorcing spouse may try to raise past conduct or other concerns to portray you as an unfit parent. Discuss any potential issue with your custody attorney early so you can prepare an accurate, well-supported response.
You should also avoid acting on emotions in ways that could harm your position. Keep these points in mind:
- Don’t make statements to others that you wouldn’t want the judge handling your case to hear. Those comments may resurface later.
- Listen to your attorney and carefully heed their warnings. Trusting informed legal guidance can prevent avoidable mistakes.
- Don’t let your children’s other parent goad you into saying something you’ll regret. Taking the high road supports your emotional well-being and a child-focused custody position.
Keep organized records of custody exchanges, child-related communications, school matters, and expenses. We assess records and communications in high-conflict circumstances, including whether information requires context or corroboration.
When It Comes to Social Media, Proceed with Caution
Many people use social media to vent their frustrations or share difficult experiences. During a custody dispute, either choice can cause serious problems:
- You have no expectation of privacy when posting on social media. Anyone can preserve a post, and it could appear in court.
- Deleting a post may not help and could draw more attention to it. Someone may already have taken a screenshot.
- Social media posts are open to interpretation, particularly during a contested proceeding.
Even an innocent post can harm your position, so avoiding social media is a prudent policy until the dispute is resolved. It’s also wise not to discuss the case online afterward because an appeal or future modification may arise. Treat the topic as off limits.
Modifying a Child Custody Order
A significant change in living circumstances, work schedules, school needs, or another part of family life can make an existing custody or visitation order impractical. We handle post-judgment modifications of custody schedules and prepare these matters for mediation or a contested hearing.
A parent requesting a change generally files a Request for Order, Form FL-300, under the same case number as the existing order. When the request concerns a final custody order, the parent generally must show a significant change in circumstances since that order and explain why the proposed change serves the child’s best interests.
Parents who agree on revised terms can put the new arrangement in a written stipulation and submit it for the judge’s signature. An informal agreement doesn’t replace the existing court order until the revised terms have been approved and entered by the court.
Move-Away & Relocation Custody Disputes
A move-away dispute arises when a parent plans to relocate in a way that would interfere with an existing custody and visitation order. We represent parents requesting or opposing moves out of Orange County or California and prepare these disputes for mediation and trial.
A parent planning a move generally must provide written notice to the other parent and may need a new court order before relocating with the child. Custody orders commonly require at least 45 days of written notice, but the language of the existing order should be reviewed before action is taken.
The legal analysis depends in part on the current physical custody arrangement. A parent with sole physical custody is generally more likely to receive permission to move unless the other parent shows that the move would harm the child. When parents share joint physical custody, the parent requesting the move must show that relocation is in the child’s best interests.
Domestic Violence & Child Custody
Domestic violence allegations require careful attention because they can directly affect legal and physical custody. We assist victims and accused parties in domestic violence restraining order hearings and custody proceedings involving safety concerns.
Under Family Code Section 3044, a finding that a parent perpetrated domestic violence within the previous five years creates a rebuttable presumption. The court starts from the position that awarding that parent sole or joint legal or physical custody would be detrimental to the child’s best interests, but the parent can present evidence seeking to overcome the presumption.
The court must determine whether Section 3044 applies before issuing a custody order when domestic violence is alleged. The presumption can be rebutted by a preponderance of the evidence, meaning the evidence shows that the claim is more likely true than not. Whether it applies or is rebutted depends on the evidence and findings in the individual case.
Reach Out to an Experienced Orange County Child Custody Attorney Today
Your relationship with your children and your ability to participate in their lives are at stake. We build clear, well-supported custody positions that reflect your commitment to their welfare while keeping you informed throughout the process. Reach out to an Orange County child custody attorney today.
Frequently Asked Questions
FAQ
What Makes a Father Unfit for Custody in California?
California applies the same fitness factors to fathers and mothers. Conduct or circumstances that may affect a parent’s fitness include:
- A history of physical abuse, domestic abuse, child abuse, substance abuse, or incarceration
- A mental illness that threatens the welfare of the children
- An inability to make appropriate decisions on behalf of the children
- An inability to understand and respond to the children’s needs
- A lack of involvement in their children’s past
- A lack of cooperation in relation to co-parenting
What Can Be Used Against You in a Child Custody Battle in California?
Your former partner can attempt to introduce a wide range of conduct, communications, and records in a custody dispute. The court focuses on evidence relevant to the children’s safety, welfare, and best interests rather than treating every allegation or minor incident as equally important.
Can Cheating Be Used in a Child Custody Battle?
Adultery generally plays no role in California custody decisions. A court may consider an affair when related conduct affected the children’s physical or emotional safety or welfare.
