How to Stop Domestic Violence


Divorce often brings out the worst in people. That’s why ramping up your self-care during this time is so important. There are certain measures you can take to ensure you are treating yourself well such as seeing a therapist, going for a nice walk, catching up with an old friend, joining a support group or taking up a new hobby or exercise class. Although you can’t control how others treat you, you can control how you treat yourself. Exercising self-care will often put you in a better position to de-escalate heated conversations with your spouse should they arise. If a conversation becomes too tense, try ending the conversation and picking it up again later once you and your spouse have had some time to cool off.

If you have a hostile spouse who is incapable of remaining calm and you feel that your safety is threatened, the judge may order that your spouse cease contact with you. If you have children and you feel that their safety is also at risk, you may further need an emergency custody order. Keeping your children from your spouse could be considered kidnapping in some circumstances. Thus, you want to make sure you are fully prepared for your emergency hearing by specifically documenting previous abuse such as when, where, what happened, and how frequently. You will also want to list any witnesses and have them be prepared to state what they saw.

If your children’s safety is not at risk, your spouse will still likely be entitled to see them. The judge can order drop offs in a public location such as a public restaurant or the local police department. If more protection is required, transportation by a third party can be arranged. Because victims of domestic violence are more often than not also victims of manipulation, having an attorney to advise you of your rights can be exceedingly beneficial and highly empowering during this time.

Authored by IRWIN & IRWIN.

IRWIN & IRWIN Family Law is located in Fullerton, California. We provide a full suite of family law services from divorce litigation, divorce mediation, child custody issues, domestic violence restraining orders and representing minors in court. “Every situation is different, and some come with very complex financial issues. Our legal team is here to support you during a very troubling time and prepare you for court, or to at least help negotiate or mediate the issues out to establish an equitable legal resolution,” says Kelly Irwin, Senior Litigator at the firm.