At Irwin & Irwin, we often speak with individuals in their 60s who never expected to be considering divorce at this stage in life. After decades of marriage, shared milestones, and raising children, the thought of starting over can feel overwhelming. Yet for many, the decision to divorce in what some call the “silver era” is not about giving up, it is about choosing peace, independence, or a different kind of happiness in the years ahead.
Whether divorce at 60 is “worth it” depends on your personal circumstances, priorities, and what you want your future to look like. There is no one-size-fits-all answer, but understanding the common reasons, financial implications, and emotional realities can help guide the decision.
Common Reasons People Divorce After 60
While every situation is unique, some themes come up regularly in later-life divorces:
- Growing Apart: As children grow up and move out, some couples realize they have little in common. Years of focusing on work and family can push emotional connection to the background.
- Retirement Transitions: Retirement brings lifestyle shifts. If one partner wants to travel and the other prefers staying home, those differences can create serious friction.
- Unresolved Issues: Longstanding resentment, poor communication, or past infidelity that was “swept under the rug” can resurface when routines change.
- Desire for Independence: Some individuals feel ready to reclaim personal goals or explore life without compromise.
- Emotional Disconnection: Physical or emotional neglect, lack of intimacy, or simply feeling more like roommates than partners can all contribute.
Financial Concerns in Later-Life Divorce
One of the most pressing concerns in a divorce at 60 is how it may affect retirement and long-term financial security.
Key Issues Include:
- Division of Retirement Accounts: In California, retirement plans, including pensions, 401(k)s, and IRAs are often considered community property if acquired during the marriage. Proper division is complex and must be handled carefully to avoid tax consequences.
- Spousal Support: Long-term marriages often involve spousal support, especially when one spouse stayed home or earned significantly less. The court considers age, health, and ability to earn future income.
- Healthcare Costs: If one spouse has been relying on the other’s health insurance, divorce may change that. Medicare and private insurance costs can become major considerations.
- Real Property and Downsizing: The family home is often the largest asset. Decisions must be made about whether to sell, refinance, or buy out the other spouse’s interest.
It is critical to understand how a divorce will affect both short-term finances and long-term retirement plans. Mistakes made during property division at this stage can be difficult to recover from.
Pros and Cons of Divorcing at 60
Possible Benefits
- Emotional Freedom: Leaving a marriage that has become emotionally draining or unfulfilling can lead to greater peace and a renewed sense of self.
- Opportunity for Personal Growth: Many people find that post-divorce life allows them to rediscover hobbies, friendships, or interests that had been neglected.
- Improved Health and Well-Being: Mental and physical health often improve when people leave high-stress or emotionally harmful relationships.
Possible Challenges
- Loneliness: Starting over at 60 can be isolating, especially for those who expected to age with a partner.
- Financial Pressure: Living on one income, adjusting retirement plans, and handling unexpected expenses can create stress.
- Family Reactions: Children, even adult ones, can struggle with their parents divorcing later in life. Grandchildren and extended family dynamics may also shift.
Gender Perspectives
Women initiating divorce after 60 often do so after many years of caregiving or prioritizing others. They may seek emotional fulfillment, independence, or personal growth. However, women may also face increased financial vulnerability, especially if they did not work full-time during the marriage or relied heavily on their spouse’s income and benefits. Planning ahead for healthcare, housing, and retirement income is essential.
Men may face challenges around emotional expression or a smaller support network after divorce. Retirement plans may shift dramatically if spousal support or asset division reduces available income. At the same time, some men find relief from high-conflict marriages or feel motivated to rebuild their lives in a new direction.
Is It Worth It?
Only you can decide what “worth it” means. For some, staying in a marriage that lacks connection or peace is no longer sustainable, even if the road ahead is uncertain. For others, the financial or emotional costs of divorce at 60 may outweigh the desire for change.
At Irwin & Irwin, we provide guidance based on California law and real-world experience. If you are considering divorce in your 60s and have questions about what it would mean for your life and finances, we can help you understand your options and prepare for what comes next.