We can all agree that the USA 2016 presidential elections has been very animated, lots of cause for debates, even bringing out emotional reactions between married couples. How many of you wives have suddenly realized (in shock & horror) that your husbands are rooting for the opposing candidate? The narcissist, or someone you think is a crook, or simply unqualified! You don’t like Trump, or Clinton, and your spouse feels just the opposite. Is your spouse sitting in front of debates cheering someone on and you, the wife, find yourself getting very upset and emotionally charged that your partner all of the sudden seems to have a different set of values for the family than you do?
ABC News reported a survey done by SSRS showing 90% of people are talking about the election rhetoric on a daily basis, and from that 37% are saying that the discussions are causing tension with family and friends. From our observation, sparks have been flying between couples. While some sparks are healthy between couples, finding out a trait in your spouse might just trump all your assumptions about a loyal, non-narcissist in your bed!! Unfortunately (or fortunately), because of some of the rhetoric in the media this year, couples are starting to consider splitting up for that very reason – having a different set of core values in treating the other person right. A somewhat shock to the system!
So lets assume you are now unfortunately headed down the path of a separation, or potentially divorce. The heightened emotions are going to push couples to want to find out what their options are. In all likelihood there were pre-existing issues that have now just been pushed over the edge by the present untenable conflict, the proverbial straw on the camel’s back.
The conflict is now unacceptable and despite the fact November 8th is coming up soon, the tension at home is becoming unbearable. If you do separate, talk to us about how to get a formal separation put in place which delineates your separation date. Make sure that you have all your personal documents together, keep calm, and make sure you talk through all your options with us.
The conflict has caused both of you to conclude you’re getting divorced. Sad times, but perhaps a start for a better future for both of you. There are two key methods of getting a divorce in California. If you are both in agreement and you think there will be no real challenges, divorce mediation is an option. We can facilitate the divorce documents between both parties and help settle your case amicably. This is a great way to do it (if you can) because it saves everyone time and costs and if there are children involved, it is a lot more peaceful than litigating the case in court. And when we talk about cost, we mean both financial and emotional.
If you are not able to settle through mediation, each party will often have to obtain an attorney, preferably someone who focuses on divorce and family law in California. Our practice is specifically focused on divorce and family law in Orange County, California. We can only represent one party going through the divorce.
How Does it All Work?
You’re emotional, angry and frustrated because you want to be divorced this minute! First and foremost, come in for a professional consultation with one of our attorneys. This is an initial investment worth taking because it sets the scene on how complex your case is going to be (or not be), and how best for the divorce to be structured. For example if the both of you have accumulated multiple assets, with stocks and bonds to divide, 401K’s etc…, and most importantly children, we need to know everything before we provide you with the answers you need.
Once we understand the depth of your situation, we will draft up relevant court documents to ensure your divorce is filed with the courts in Orange County, California. Once the documents are filed with the courts, the opposing party will be served with the information. You won’t have to deal with serving, as we have a team of qualified process servers who are able to do exactly that.
Now if your divorce comes to us with allegations of assault or domestic violence, we will also discuss filing for an emergency restraining order to ensure your protection.
Ultimately, the courts will schedule a hearing where all issues are reviewed and a judgment on the divorce is filed. It will take a minimum of 6 months to be legally divorced, though the process usually takes longer than this. It can also often end up being a lot longer for more complex cases.
So, if you are living a life with a narcissistic spouse, or the conflict has risen to a level that’s resulted in an unhealthy relationship, talk to us at IrwinIrwin.com